Sunday, July 14, 2013


at the end of the day
All you have is yourself

Saturday, July 13, 2013


pernah tak kau rasa
sangat sangat berdosa
tapi akhirnya kau tak buat apa apa

kalau aku boleh buang kau
dah lama aku buang
tak pun
aku pijak pijak sampai hancur

Monday, July 8, 2013

kepada abang yang muka macam que haidar,

kebab yang awak jual kat pasar malam memang sedap.

Sunday, July 7, 2013


sebab aku rasa nak menangis
hidup ni susah
hati perasaan semua aku macam nak campak
sebab aku taknak peduli lagi.

aku kena berjuang demi masa hadapan
nak mengalah sekarang memang tak berguna

aku 18tahun
masih jauh untuk aku pergi

mungkin sekarang susah
supaya aku bersedia untuk susah yang akan datang

aku nak jerit
aku nak tidur
aku nak belah
aku nak lari

tapi akhirnya aku kat sini
luahkan semua yang ada dalam hati

walaupun aku tahu
tak kira panjang mana aku mengadu kat sini
ia takkan mengubah apa apa

aku kena menghadapi realiti

argh. aku perlu berdoa.

Thursday, July 4, 2013


sometimes, guys
they think they are so cool so
they make fun of the girls
I admit, girls do overreact sometimes
we are sensitive, predictable, gedik, drama queen,
but really guys,
sometimes you just have to look at us further
more, deeply. i guess 

because we are more than that
most of the time we regret everything we say
or everything we do

we even feel sorry for ourselves 

Dear future,

please be nice,
go ahead and make me cry
make me suffer
but at the end of the day,
please tell me that
everything is worth it
and I would be fine.

we accept the love we think we deserve

somehow when I was reading this line before
I felt there are some kind of feelings in my heart
that i can relate to

umm you see, I havent actually found the right one, umm yet
Im not actually looking, though
there are so many things happening now
and I was busy with my foundation

well crush is a lot different story
they just come and go,
just a little something to fill the loneliness inside

but you see even though im quite busy with stuffs
there were times when I really thought a lot about these things

sometimes I really just accepted the love I thought I deserved
just that I wanted to be loved
I wanted to feel something
with someone

like I said before, im not looking
but you can say there are some guys
ah well
mostly they come and go (or me running away)
and every single of them will left me with something
its either a lesson, or.. idk i cant think
urgh im not talking  about this

thing is, when I started to think about liking someone
(and when I like someone, I always like someone who is sexy as hell)
I couldnt help but feel that this guy is too good for me
there I am, with average beauty and average body
not sopan santun, talk a lot about crappy things
amazingly not attractive, not worthy, a loser.

but lately I have been ignoring this negative bullshit
that I created myself
i started to think about
"dude im sexy as hell and funny as ever. despite my average look, im not plain. there are so many greatness in me. I couldnt even express that in words."

and yeah life is mostly full of bullshit
but believe me, you are what you think you are
dont let those negative things define you.

we accept the love we think we deserve, and we deserve a beautiful one.

so keep going
because all the good things come to those who wait.

being alone

I always be alone. like you can say I walk, drive and eat alone.
not that im being anti social or anything.
but you can say this phase im facing right now is quite bizarre
cause I never think so much and talk too little in my life.
mostly I just talk craps and whatever random things on my mind.

but at this very moment, Im quite comfortable
with all these.
now I have time to think about everything again

like what I said before
what I did before
i tried to define myself
and I thought more about
what im going to do next

not that I dont think about them before
I did
but when you are all alone
you kinda see things more clearly
and feel something more deeply

I have been thinking so much about my future. 
random things like what I really want to do with my life
what I ought to do to be happy
that kind of stuffs.

and before when I was walking alone 
I observed more about my surroundings
I never actually did that. 
and when I did, I felt..
emm idk how to describe these feelings
but yeah something just stab me right in the heart
and surprisingly I feel much much better, positive, grateful  
that kind of things

I always be that funny random cheerful girl
that just who I am. I cant stop being myself
but im grateful that now I have more time for myself

im still confused though

my grammar sucks. yeah
i will be focusing more on that
after this
i promise