To hakimi, (i swear not a cheesy post)

If u're following my instagram,

u must know how HOPELESSLY romantic I am.

really, I might be 20.

but when it comes to love, I.am.the.most.IMMATURE.PERSON.EVER.

I sound like a 15teen y/o girl getting her first boyfriend. tbh.

GAWD.

ok tapi tu lain cerita la.

this one, 

talking about what I learn from him,

Dear hakimi zakaria,

You're different. And when i say different, not a cool kind of different. You are just abits different then most of the guys I know. And this is why i found u interesting. U see, while most of us are busy attaining all the fame & attention ESPECIALLY in social media, u tak pernah nak kisah pun what's it all about. Bila u log in instagram, u log in twice a day.. tu pun sebab u cakap u rasa bersalah tak like gambar orang?? Pe masalah you ni haha And u literally followed everyone back on Instagram. (Even strangers). 

Say, U are such an honest person. Not only to other ppl, but also to urself. And when u do something or go somewhere, it is never to impress anyone, anyone at all. U can wear the same fucking shirt 9 times a week & u can go to  Venice & not take a single picture there. U memang buat everything 100% sebab nak create memories (so tht u can have so many things to look back on bila u dah tua nanti) and u tak pernah nak kisah being judged or making effort to achive ppl's standards of happiness. Kalau u happy, u happy la. U were never in this invisible competition where ppl want to prove that their life is better than others. Sebab tu I impressed listening to your stories, I can tell its the best memories. Ppl may not know them.. but they are all yours. And all of them are real. (Unless u tipu la). And this. is what I learned from you (among with many other things). You're real.

its been forever. oh and its 2015

sebenarnya memang dah lama nak update blog.
tapi tak ter-update sebab eh--
ada orang like gambar dekat instagram puleks
eh ni ni siapa kahwin ni
ha lagipun kalau ada benda nak kongsi aku upload la dekat twitter ke, facebook ke, insta ke,
nampak tak aku gila punya terpengaruh dengan social media.
but somehow, aku taknak la berhenti blogging.
bukan ada orang nak sangat baca pun
tapi atleast nanti aku sendiri boleh baca. kan?
sebab aku tahu diary ke apa memang tak jalan.

and,
there're too many things/feelings I want to remember.

sebab aku ingat lagi ada satu time ni, aku macam feeling lost, empty
pastu nak solat pun masa tu period.
pastu aku macam annoyed semacam dengan semua benda
pastu aku bukak blog ni balik. aku baca balik apa yang aku tulis dulu.
perasaan yang aku sorang je tahu masa tu.
aku baca balik. dari post pertama kot, gigih tak gigih
feelings dia macam sangat...how do i say this.
entahlah. macam aku tengah bercakap dengan diri sendiri?
but not me, the old me
and aku sedar macam, wow
I CHANGED. a lot.

and suddenly im 20 and im like 50% the old me and 50% the new me.
and everything is different....
but, everything is good.\\

insyaAllah